Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
