Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
sex in a hospital.. check
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
im on a boat
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