Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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