just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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