butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
