why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
