Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize