I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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