Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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