Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
