Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
