this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
