If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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