ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
porn star boner night. come get it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Randomize
