I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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