u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
