how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize