hell yes lets make some ravioli
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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