you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
