At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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