Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
