I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
