just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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