NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
