shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
