We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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