he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
