"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
