dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
