I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize