My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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