ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
