who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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