So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
No stitches, just platelets and will power
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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