I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
