I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize