Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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