I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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