He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
