That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
