we have pet lesbian snakes
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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