You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
