Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
