i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
