If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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