so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize