is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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