Already got asked if we're dating
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
