trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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