So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize