You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
