Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize