My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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