I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
