He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
