Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
