Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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