I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
