you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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