i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
did i just pee glitter
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
